All I want to do is complain about all these pain I am getting all over my body. Yes I know I should be grateful that I am carrying a baby because there are some people out there who have been trying to conceive but can’t. Not that I am not grateful, I really am and I cannot wait to meet Baby S. Just that I am not prepared for such a challenging pregnancy. See the lack of updates for this pregnancy? For your info, I have been typing many entries but refuse to publish them because I just don’t feel like it. Most of the entries are just me complaining anyway, so negative.
I have just a few weeks to go and I cannot wait anymore. You know, if I do not have Shan I don’t think I would feel this terrible. Feeling all the pain is one thing, but the guilt I am feeling towards Shan just make me want to cry everyday. He just turned 2 and he is so active and at the age where he absorbs everything like a sponge and I do not have the energy to catch up with him. I wake up every morning, played with Shan for a while, and then I drift off to sleep again while he plays with my helper. I can barely walk now, so when the helper plays catch with him and I hear him giggling and laughing, I want to break down. I want to be the one playing with him but my body doesn’t allow me to. I am with Shan every single day but I feel like I am not with him enough. I am not sure if other mothers feel this way too, maybe it’s just me. Or the pregnancy hormones making me feel all emo and useless. Lol.
So let me update you briefly on my pregnancy – at 35 weeks, my tummy is HUGE. I am out of shape and I really don’t like the way I look. People say if you are carrying baby girl you will look good. Well, not the case for me. I feel like I put on a lot of weight when I actually do not. In fact, I only gained 10kg so far. With Shan, I already gained 18kg by now. Next thing I notice. My nose is red. Yup, I don’t know if this has anything to do with me being pregnant but the tip of my nose is so red. Lol. Like rudolph. Not pretty I tell you. (which is why I don’t snap pictures of me that much for this pregnancy). The aches and pain are totally different from when I was carrying Shan. This time round, it is so bad. I cannot stay in the same position for more than 15 mins cos if I do, I won’t be able to get up without any assistance. My inner thigh hurts so so much and I always feel like there is something wrong with my bones (I am getting it checked this weekend). Sleep is no longer a luxury for me. In fact, when I go to sleep at night, I feel so stressed because if I sleep early, I will end up waking up every half an hour because I either need to pee or to change position may many times. If I sleep late (and late meaning like 3am or later), I will end up falling into deep sleep and when I wake up to pee or change position 2-3 hours later, I cannot move because my entire body hurts. Sigh. I started getting braxton hicks at 33 weeks but it is more intense now and sometimes I feel like it’s real contractions that starts from my lower back and then my stomach tightens and the pain will move to the front of my stomach and then to the vjayjay. It lasts for about 1 minute so it’s still bearable. I just need to breathe through the 1 minute. It comes and goes (in fact I am having it now as I am typing this). Oh and how can I forget that that taste in my mouth that I got during the 1st trimester is back with a vengeance now! I thought that it’s over but nooooo….it is back and it is even worse than before. I have to brush my teeth 5 times a day because of that foul taste in my mouth. Especially after I eat, cos if not I will vomit. I keep telling the husband I cannot wait to lead my normal life and feel like a normal person again. I feel miserable and I want to hold Baby S so badly! I even told Diah I feel like telling my gynae to induce me at 36 weeks so that all these pain will go away. (that is next week!). But of course I won’t. We mothers only want the best for our children and even if it means we have to bear all the pain. Come out whenever you are ready Baby S. The first thing I am going to do is smell your breath. Hee.
Ok let’s move on to happier things! I have been shopping for Baby S and OH MY GOD I overdosed on pink stuff. It’s like it’s payback time! Lol. I have been eyeing so many pink and girly stuff that I just CANNOT HELP IT. It is bad. The husband doesn’t know (i guess if he is reading this he will. HI BABY!). Everyday I imagine dressing her up in little pink clothes with little pink clips. I am obsessed with girls stuff. And I can finally pass on my many many many headbands to my baby. Wuhoo.
(toilet break. pregnant mah)
Ok I am back.
Where was I? Oh ya. Dressing up Baby S! I even bought a new cot for her because I have been picturing a white cot with pink bedding. Heh. I don’t know when this pink obsession will go away, but I foresee it won’t be so soon. So Baby S, be prepared for everything pink and bear with Mummy for a little while ok?
So when do you think I will pop? Due date is 10th Nov, but I have a feeling it will be way earlier. Wish me luck.
Yeah, Mummy haven’t been blogging for so so long, I know I know. Ain’t my fault. She is just tooooooo lazy to do anything right now. Guess ya’ll should know by now that she is carrying my lil sister in her right? She is currently 33 weeks pregnant and everyday I hear her complaining about aches and stuff. So I guess what I am trying to say here is, don’t blame her for the (very) lack of updates.
So anyway, let’s get to the important stuff here. Huh? what do you mean, ‘what important stuff?’. Me turning 2 of course. It is a huge deal ok. The no 2 is more than 1. I am not 1 anymore, I am 2. Ok? Ok.
Daddy & Mummy decided not to make a huge party this time round because Mummy’s not feeling too well because of the pregnancy. They decided to have a small celebration at home with just family and I think I kind of like it. Reason being, I don’t miss my nap time, I get to eat anytime I want and yes I don’t have to sweat buckets under the sun in my costume. Being at home with your loved ones beats any outdoor celebration, hands down!
Let’s get to it!
Having an animal themed party is the best idea since they know how much I LOVE animals (and ya dinosaurs too. Check out their sharp teeth! And goodness they are SO BIG) so thumbs up Mummy & Daddy on that. Mummy didn’t take long to shop for my mini party because hey you just need a mask for my party. I, however, wore a full lion costume. I very fierce, you scared or nyot?
Roooooarrrrrr!!!!! (are you peeing in your pants or whuttt?)
Moving on, as usual the others also tried to look like animals for my party too (but of course I looked the best) Let me show you.
Here is Kakak ShaSha as a rooster.
Kakak ShaSha made a card for me and I think she is so good in drawing. LOOK!
Right? Thank you Kakak ShaSha.
Next we have Mysha who is a Cat. Meowww…
I have never seen a cat with so much jewellery before. Hmmm.
How about Myreen? She is a cute lil Panda.
I don’t understand why this Panda look cross eyed here. Panda, are you ok?
For the first time ever, Nana decided to take part in dressing up for a theme party. Guess what she is..
A VERY fierce looking lion. I like.
You want to see what Dada looks like? (He chose a very suitable animal, I feel)
Dada Gorilla!! *shudders*
A few minutes later, I found the Gorilla here..
Exercising? Ok Dada Gorilla, well done.
Mama Diah and Papaq become bears and then I remember Mummy telling me bears are usually very chubby and snuggly. Maybe these 2 bears watch their diet.
(nice fringe there, Papaq Bear)
Here let me show you a confused family. Mama & Papa Bear gave birth to a Baby Panda, Cat and errr…Rooster?
Mama E confused me last night. I didn’t know what animal she is, but she looks more like a monster to me. We all ran away from here everytime she comes near us.
She said she will be selling this costume and more at her online store soon, so if you want to look like a monster, stay tuned to find out more.
Look here, Mama E trying to force me to buy her outfit. I just went “hmmm….lemme think about it”
Now let’s take a look at Uncle Bert who looks like a gay fox.
Hehe nice bushy tail there Uncle Bert!
Ouh, and we had someone new joined our party too. Aunty Mandy!
Aunty Mandy, I am not sure which animal you are, but since you are new I will not bully or make fun of you. In fact, I want to thank you for coming. (Please don’t be like Uncle Bert ah, always bully me)
Want to see Daddy?
You must be wondering how Mummy looked like, but she was too busy taking everyone’s picture that she forgot to take hers! A picture of the lion family will do then
Even the helpers in the family participated in the theme. Here’s Aton and Estee!
A picture of all of us (without Uncle Bert & Aunty Mandy because Mummy and Daddy want me to take picture with everyone before I start roaring for real)
Then, they took out the CAKE. So clever ah, take it out at the very last minute so that I will get distracted and they can take tons of photos if me.
Of course I got distracted, just look at the cake!
Can you tell how amazed I am of the cake? Mummy ordered it from Comestivel, Aunty Yati. The cake doesn’t only look good on the outside, but look at the inside. And it tastes heavenly too!
Rainbow cakes are so in nowadays, of course I want one for my birthday too! Thumbs up Mummy, good choice! Everyone loved the cake.
Ok, now for some random pictures taken during the party.
Do you know that Dada and Nana took 3 days to get me my presents?? Do you know that they bought me 6 different presents?? And because they know how much I love animals and dinosaurs, almost all of the presents I got was animals and dinosaurs. No complains, I go to sleep hugging a dinosaur aka Mummy. Hehe.
Sorry you took 3 days to find my presents Dada & Nana. Thank you for all 6 of them! (Daddy is afraid of the lion). To Mama E & Uncle Bert, thank you. I like the snake but because you keep wrapping me with it, I pretend to hate it. (Uncle Bert, you watch out). Aunty Mandy, thank you for the bubble gun, I love playing with bubbles but Mummy said it’s messy and I can only play in the bathroom *sad face*. Uncle Shafiq, thank you for your very funny card and the gift too. I know you are in a jungle somewhere in Brunei right now. Did you get to see lions??? I wish you were here for the party. We had macdonalds and we wanted to order an IB meal for you. Howell. Mama Diah, Papaq and Nadyas, thank you for the books. Till today Mummy still wonder how you managed to get such good books about dinosaurs for me. I love the books by the way. I asked Mummy to read for me every night and then I go to sleep roaring. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night just to roar. Thanks to your books.
I had a roarrrring good time turning 2 and because my birthday is so close to my Nenek, Mysha & Myreen, I get triple the fun! Today I will be Ken, Barbie’s boyfriend for Mysha & Myreen’s party. Look out for me later ya’ll.*peace*
Bye Bye for now!
An update on my 9 weeks pregnancy.
I an already at my ninth week which means I will be in 2nd trimester in 3 weeks, isn’t that awesome?
I am still having the morning sickness and all, but it is no longer as bad as it was 2 weeks ago. I no longer vomit; just have nausea every once in a while (but I am still lazy and all I want to do all day is lie down like a big fat whale).
So anyway, I want to update on how I found out I was pregnant! I haven’t had my period for so long simply because I was breastfeeding Shan fully. Out of the 18 months since he was born, I only had my period once and it was very light. So I didn’t bother counting or checking if I had my period already or not.
On 15th Mar, I started feeling weird. Tired. Nothing felt right. I didn’t have the energy to even dress up. I had to sit down to put on makeup. I remember telling myself that that was such a familiar feeling. Like I have been there before. Like Dejavu. I thought I was just feeling sick and so I brushed it off (thinking it is impossible that I am pregnant).
But for the next 3 days nothing changed. Then I knew something must be up with me. I didn’t even want Shan to climb all over me because I was so scared of…I don’t even know what at the point!
On the 19th, (refer to blogpost below) I found out I was pregnant. So there. I have a little someone in me and I am so excited for the upcoming months.
So many people are already asking me if it is a boy or a girl but (obviously) I don’t know the gender yet. I have a very strong feeling that it is going to be another boy though. The only difference between this pregnancy and Shans’ is that my tummy is A LOT bigger at this stage. I look like I am already 4 months pregnant. The husband kept calling me fat. VERY RUDE. I wear my normal everyday clothes and I can already see my tummy protruding.
My tummy looks a lot bigger than in this picture actually. Somehow, side profile it doesn’t look as big. Tummy is pointed, just like when I was pregnant with Shan.
I cannot wait for my next check up. I want listen to baby’s heartbeat so badly!
25th April 2012. Inshallah.
After testing a few days ago and finding out that I am pregnant, I made an appointment to see a gynae to check how far along I am already. Unfortunately, no female gynae is availble soon enough, so I decided to see a male gynae just for this initial check up and will make an appointment with a female gynae for the subsequents check ups.
Today at 9.45am, I went for my first ever check up for my No 2. I was trying to stay cool despite being super excited to see the lil bean. Hehe. The check up with the male gynae was disappointing though, he is very insensitive and didnt really explain in detail when he did the scan. he didnt even check for baby’s heartbeat! He was cold and it was obvious that he wanted to get-it-over-and-done-with. The husband was making faces at me cos he too wasn’t happy. Sigh.
As per gynae (who couldnt care less!), I am 7 weeks pregnant and my due date is 101112. Isn’t that a nice date? BUT OF COURSE it won’t be so spot on la. I am sure I will deliver earlier. Tsk.
Honestly though, I wasn’t this excited when I first found out that I am pregnant. I mean, yes I want another baby, I just didn’t expect to get pregnant so soon. I thought that Shan will still need my attention and my intention was to breastfeed him until he turns 2. The husband and I wanted to try end of this year, but this is His gift to us and when I think about all the other women who are trying so hard to get pregnant, I say a little prayer thanking Him for giving me yet another great gift.
However, there are some things that I DO NOT look forward to during and after pregnancy -
1. Weight gain – Cannot deny this fact. I have just lost all the weight and now I have to put on all the weight back. Lol
2. Morning sickness during 1st trimester – Fortunately, I am already reaching my 2nd month and no vomiting so far! Just that stupid weird taste in my mouth (i can go on forever about this)
3. Fatigue – Cannot tahan this one. Walk a little bit, I need to sit. I cannot even put on makeup standing. SO LAZY.
4. Mood swing – Yes I get moody one minute and another minute I can smile like a puppy.
Those isted above are all the things that will happen during the first trimester. 2nd trimester IS THE BEST part of pregnancy. I LOVE 2nd trimester. Nothing to complain about it, so moving on to the 3r and last trimester.
1. Heavy and difficulty walking – I remember when I was pregnant with Shan, I had so much difficulty walking and it was always so painful down there.
2. Nothing fits anymore – Your tummy is so big and round (your ass too) nothing can fit you. Yes, my last trimester I look like a tempayan.
3. The ‘is-it-today-is-it-not’ feeling EVERYDAY – yup, everyday I imagine going into labour and practice my urgent call to the husband (I always assume he will be at work)
…and then comes labour..
1. The ‘how many cm?’ – Gynae checking and putting their hands inside you, down there to check how many cm dilated you are. That is SO NOT FUN.
2. The wait – When will I deliver. When will the pain come? What will be baby look like? Will baby be healthy?
3. The CONTRACTIONS – BIG OUCH this one. I have no words to describe it lah. It’s like someone shove their whole arm inside you and turn your spine like 360 degrees for fun every 2-3 minutes.
4. The pushing – I pushed for 2 hours with Shan. He refused to come out and despite my gynae saying she wanted to use forceps, I kept saying no and kept pushing because I didn’t want to hurt baby or anything (but actually nope, forceps will not hurt baby at all)
..after baby is born…You will so bloody (literally) happy and thankful to Him. REALLY. But after that…
1. The stiches – yup, I can feel my gynae sewing me up like I am a cow with a very bad cut.
2. The soreness – I was so traumatized after the labour. The pain I felt below at the v-jay-jay was so so painful that when I sleep, I get nightmares that I am still in labour. It was horrible
3. The recovery – this is the part that I am really not looking forward to. I felt helpless because I was in pain and couldn’t move much. I couldn’t attend to Shan that much and it made me feel so bad.
4. Hair Loss – yes I was bald at the sides after about 4 months of giving birth and hair only grew back when Shan was 9 months old!
That’s it! I just feel I should write all these down as memory. I am currently reading all my previous entries during my pregnancy with Shan and truthfully, despite all that I went through it is definitely worth it. Shan is the best thing that has ever happened to me and no amount of pain will stop me from having another baby of my own. A few months of pain is nothing compared to the laughter I get every single day when I see my baby.
May this journey be a smooth one for me, Inshaallah.
Been having that weird and funny feeling lately. Actually not lately but just yesterday. Shan was jumping up and down on my tummy and I feel like he should stop. Which is weird cos I usually enjoy playing rough with shan.
Later that day, I started having that really weird not nice nak mampos taste in my mouth! I will NEVER EVER forget that EVER. It’s so awful! So when I started feeling that in my mouth, I knew something is up! (women are just soooooooo good with their instincts i tell you!). I whatsapp the husband who was on night shift and told him. His reply? “ha ha ha”. Funny is it?!
So anyway, he then said I should get a test kit (but it was already 9pm and I was too lazy to go down to the shop). Told him to buy one on the way back from work the next morning. I felt so tired somehow and went to sleep at 11pm or so and woke up at around 9pm. And another strange thing was that – shan woke up at around 4am wanting to drink milk (still bfeeding by the way) but I didn’t want to give to him. I feel the need to stop him from drinking. But I gave in because he was kissing me all over asking for milk. That’s the deal nowadays. Whenever he wants milk, he will kiss me first. Lol.
So okay. The husband came home WITHOUT the test kit. I then got the helper to buy for me and i tested the moment she got home. And guess what?
Positive. Tested twice. Yes. Positive. The husband was so excited. I was more in shock than anything at first. I look at shan (who was oblivious and climbing all over me on the bed) and i felt so sad that the attention will soon be lesser for him. And that I have to stop bfeeding him already. He is still a BABY! And then he looked up to me and went “horseeeeee”. Lol he saw a book with a picture of a zebra. Very funny Shan.
So yeah. I am pregnant and nope I don’t know how far along I am yet. Made an appointment to see a gynae this Saturday and I will find out then.
Alhamdullilah and thank You for another wondeful gift – Inshallah.