35 weeks….
All I want to do is complain about all these pain I am getting all over my body. Yes I know I should be grateful that I am carrying a baby because there are some people out there who have been trying to conceive but can’t. Not that I am not grateful, I really am and I cannot wait to meet Baby S. Just that I am not prepared for such a challenging pregnancy. See the lack of updates for this pregnancy? For your info, I have been typing many entries but refuse to publish them because I just don’t feel like it. Most of the entries are just me complaining anyway, so negative. 
I have just a few weeks to go and I cannot wait anymore. You know, if I do not have Shan I don’t think I would feel this terrible. Feeling all the pain is one thing, but the guilt I am feeling towards Shan just make me want to cry everyday. He just turned 2 and he is so active and at the age where he absorbs everything like a sponge and I do not have the energy to catch up with him. I wake up every morning, played with Shan for a while, and then I drift off to sleep again while he plays with my helper. I can barely walk now, so when the helper plays catch with him and I hear him giggling and laughing, I want to break down. I want to be the one playing with him but my body doesn’t allow me to. I am with Shan every single day but I feel like I am not with him enough. I am not sure if other mothers feel this way too, maybe it’s just me. Or the pregnancy hormones making me feel all emo and useless. Lol.
So let me update you briefly on my pregnancy – at 35 weeks, my tummy is HUGE. I am out of shape and I really don’t like the way I look. People say if you are carrying baby girl you will look good. Well, not the case for me. I feel like I put on a lot of weight when I actually do not. In fact, I only gained 10kg so far. With Shan, I already gained 18kg by now. Next thing I notice. My nose is red. Yup, I don’t know if this has anything to do with me being pregnant but the tip of my nose is so red. Lol. Like rudolph. Not pretty I tell you. (which is why I don’t snap pictures of me that much for this pregnancy). The aches and pain are totally different from when I was carrying Shan. This time round, it is so bad. I cannot stay in the same position for more than 15 mins cos if I do, I won’t be able to get up without any assistance. My inner thigh hurts so so much and I always feel like there is something wrong with my bones (I am getting it checked this weekend). Sleep is no longer a luxury for me. In fact, when I go to sleep at night, I feel so stressed because if I sleep early, I will end up waking up every half an hour because I either need to pee or to change position may many times. If I sleep late (and late meaning like 3am or later), I will end up falling into deep sleep and when I wake up to pee or change position 2-3 hours later, I cannot move because my entire body hurts. Sigh. I started getting braxton hicks at 33 weeks but it is more intense now and sometimes I feel like it’s real contractions that starts from my lower back and then my stomach tightens and the pain will move to the front of my stomach and then to the vjayjay. It lasts for about 1 minute so it’s still bearable. I just need to breathe through the 1 minute. It comes and goes (in fact I am having it now as I am typing this). Oh and how can I forget that that taste in my mouth that I got during the 1st trimester is back with a vengeance now! I thought that it’s over but nooooo….it is back and it is even worse than before. I have to brush my teeth 5 times a day because of that foul taste in my mouth. Especially after I eat, cos if not I will vomit. I keep telling the husband I cannot wait to lead my normal life and feel like a normal person again. I feel miserable and I want to hold Baby S so badly! I even told Diah I feel like telling my gynae to induce me at 36 weeks so that all these pain will go away. (that is next week!). But of course I won’t. We mothers only want the best for our children and even if it means we have to bear all the pain. Come out whenever you are ready Baby S. The first thing I am going to do is smell your breath. Hee.
Ok let’s move on to happier things! I have been shopping for Baby S and OH MY GOD I overdosed on pink stuff. It’s like it’s payback time! Lol. I have been eyeing so many pink and girly stuff that I just CANNOT HELP IT. It is bad. The husband doesn’t know (i guess if he is reading this he will. HI BABY!). Everyday I imagine dressing her up in little pink clothes with little pink clips. I am obsessed with girls stuff. And I can finally pass on my many many many headbands to my baby. Wuhoo.
(toilet break. pregnant mah)
Ok I am back.
Where was I? Oh ya. Dressing up Baby S! I even bought a new cot for her because I have been picturing a white cot with pink bedding. Heh. I don’t know when this pink obsession will go away, but I foresee it won’t be so soon. So Baby S, be prepared for everything pink and bear with Mummy for a little while ok?
So when do you think I will pop? Due date is 10th Nov, but I have a feeling it will be way earlier. Wish me luck.
Yeah, Mummy haven’t been blogging for so so long, I know I know. Ain’t my fault. She is just tooooooo lazy to do anything right now. Guess ya’ll should know by now that she is carrying my lil sister in her right? She is currently 33 weeks pregnant and everyday I hear her complaining about aches and stuff. So I guess what I am trying to say here is, don’t blame her for the (very) lack of updates.
So anyway, let’s get to the important stuff here. Huh? what do you mean, ‘what important stuff?’. Me turning 2 of course. It is a huge deal ok. The no 2 is more than 1. I am not 1 anymore, I am 2. Ok? Ok.
Daddy & Mummy decided not to make a huge party this time round because Mummy’s not feeling too well because of the pregnancy. They decided to have a small celebration at home with just family and I think I kind of like it. Reason being, I don’t miss my nap time, I get to eat anytime I want and yes I don’t have to sweat buckets under the sun in my costume. Being at home with your loved ones beats any outdoor celebration, hands down!
Let’s get to it!
Having an animal themed party is the best idea since they know how much I LOVE animals (and ya dinosaurs too. Check out their sharp teeth! And goodness they are SO BIG) so thumbs up Mummy & Daddy on that. Mummy didn’t take long to shop for my mini party because hey you just need a mask for my party. I, however, wore a full lion costume. I very fierce, you scared or nyot?
Roooooarrrrrr!!!!! (are you peeing in your pants or whuttt?)
Moving on, as usual the others also tried to look like animals for my party too (but of course I looked the best) Let me show you.
Here is Kakak ShaSha as a rooster.
Kakak ShaSha made a card for me and I think she is so good in drawing. LOOK!
Right? Thank you Kakak ShaSha.
Next we have Mysha who is a Cat. Meowww…
I have never seen a cat with so much jewellery before. Hmmm.
How about Myreen? She is a cute lil Panda.
I don’t understand why this Panda look cross eyed here. Panda, are you ok?
For the first time ever, Nana decided to take part in dressing up for a theme party. Guess what she is..
A VERY fierce looking lion. I like.
You want to see what Dada looks like? (He chose a very suitable animal, I feel)
Dada Gorilla!! *shudders*
A few minutes later, I found the Gorilla here..
Exercising? Ok Dada Gorilla, well done.
Mama Diah and Papaq become bears and then I remember Mummy telling me bears are usually very chubby and snuggly. Maybe these 2 bears watch their diet.
(nice fringe there, Papaq Bear)
Here let me show you a confused family. Mama & Papa Bear gave birth to a Baby Panda, Cat and errr…Rooster?
Mama E confused me last night. I didn’t know what animal she is, but she looks more like a monster to me. We all ran away from here everytime she comes near us.
She said she will be selling this costume and more at her online store soon, so if you want to look like a monster, stay tuned to find out more.
Look here, Mama E trying to force me to buy her outfit. I just went “hmmm….lemme think about it”
Now let’s take a look at Uncle Bert who looks like a gay fox.
Hehe nice bushy tail there Uncle Bert!
Ouh, and we had someone new joined our party too. Aunty Mandy!
Aunty Mandy, I am not sure which animal you are, but since you are new I will not bully or make fun of you. In fact, I want to thank you for coming. (Please don’t be like Uncle Bert ah, always bully me)
Want to see Daddy?
Lion wore sunglasses and jacket. I swear I have never seen this kind of lion anywhere.
You must be wondering how Mummy looked like, but she was too busy taking everyone’s picture that she forgot to take hers! A picture of the lion family will do then
Do I look the fiercest or whutttt???
Even the helpers in the family participated in the theme. Here’s Aton and Estee!
Hehe a frog and a puppy!
A picture of all of us (without Uncle Bert & Aunty Mandy because Mummy and Daddy want me to take picture with everyone before I start roaring for real)
Then, they took out the CAKE. So clever ah, take it out at the very last minute so that I will get distracted and they can take tons of photos if me.
Of course I got distracted, just look at the cake!
Can you tell how amazed I am of the cake? Mummy ordered it from Comestivel, Aunty Yati. The cake doesn’t only look good on the outside, but look at the inside. And it tastes heavenly too!
Rainbow cakes are so in nowadays, of course I want one for my birthday too! Thumbs up Mummy, good choice! Everyone loved the cake.
Ok, now for some random pictures taken during the party.
Myreen didn’t want to put on her mask, and when she finally did…
I took mine off. WHAT? We are kids, we are supposed to make things difficult for the adults. Nyeh Nyeh. *high 5 Myreen!*
Do you know that Dada and Nana took 3 days to get me my presents?? Do you know that they bought me 6 different presents?? And because they know how much I love animals and dinosaurs, almost all of the presents I got was animals and dinosaurs. No complains, I go to sleep hugging a dinosaur aka Mummy. Hehe.
Sorry you took 3 days to find my presents Dada & Nana. Thank you for all 6 of them! (Daddy is afraid of the lion). To Mama E & Uncle Bert, thank you. I like the snake but because you keep wrapping me with it, I pretend to hate it. (Uncle Bert, you watch out). Aunty Mandy, thank you for the bubble gun, I love playing with bubbles but Mummy said it’s messy and I can only play in the bathroom *sad face*. Uncle Shafiq, thank you for your very funny card and the gift too. I know you are in a jungle somewhere in Brunei right now. Did you get to see lions??? I wish you were here for the party. We had macdonalds and we wanted to order an IB meal for you. Howell. Mama Diah, Papaq and Nadyas, thank you for the books. Till today Mummy still wonder how you managed to get such good books about dinosaurs for me. I love the books by the way. I asked Mummy to read for me every night and then I go to sleep roaring. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night just to roar. Thanks to your books.
I had a roarrrring good time turning 2 and because my birthday is so close to my Nenek, Mysha & Myreen, I get triple the fun! Today I will be Ken, Barbie’s boyfriend for Mysha & Myreen’s party. Look out for me later ya’ll.*peace*
Bye Bye for now!
An update on my 9 weeks pregnancy.
I an already at my ninth week which means I will be in 2nd trimester in 3 weeks, isn’t that awesome?
I am still having the morning sickness and all, but it is no longer as bad as it was 2 weeks ago. I no longer vomit; just have nausea every once in a while (but I am still lazy and all I want to do all day is lie down like a big fat whale).
So anyway, I want to update on how I found out I was pregnant! I haven’t had my period for so long simply because I was breastfeeding Shan fully. Out of the 18 months since he was born, I only had my period once and it was very light. So I didn’t bother counting or checking if I had my period already or not.
On 15th Mar, I started feeling weird. Tired. Nothing felt right. I didn’t have the energy to even dress up. I had to sit down to put on makeup. I remember telling myself that that was such a familiar feeling. Like I have been there before. Like Dejavu. I thought I was just feeling sick and so I brushed it off (thinking it is impossible that I am pregnant).
But for the next 3 days nothing changed. Then I knew something must be up with me. I didn’t even want Shan to climb all over me because I was so scared of…I don’t even know what at the point!
On the 19th, (refer to blogpost below) I found out I was pregnant. So there. I have a little someone in me and I am so excited for the upcoming months.
So many people are already asking me if it is a boy or a girl but (obviously) I don’t know the gender yet. I have a very strong feeling that it is going to be another boy though. The only difference between this pregnancy and Shans’ is that my tummy is A LOT bigger at this stage. I look like I am already 4 months pregnant. The husband kept calling me fat. VERY RUDE. I wear my normal everyday clothes and I can already see my tummy protruding.
My tummy looks a lot bigger than in this picture actually. Somehow, side profile it doesn’t look as big. Tummy is pointed, just like when I was pregnant with Shan.
I cannot wait for my next check up. I want listen to baby’s heartbeat so badly!
25th April 2012. Inshallah.
After testing a few days ago and finding out that I am pregnant, I made an appointment to see a gynae to check how far along I am already. Unfortunately, no female gynae is availble soon enough, so I decided to see a male gynae just for this initial check up and will make an appointment with a female gynae for the subsequents check ups.
Today at 9.45am, I went for my first ever check up for my No 2. I was trying to stay cool despite being super excited to see the lil bean. Hehe. The check up with the male gynae was disappointing though, he is very insensitive and didnt really explain in detail when he did the scan. he didnt even check for baby’s heartbeat! He was cold and it was obvious that he wanted to get-it-over-and-done-with. The husband was making faces at me cos he too wasn’t happy. Sigh.
As per gynae (who couldnt care less!), I am 7 weeks pregnant and my due date is 101112. Isn’t that a nice date? BUT OF COURSE it won’t be so spot on la. I am sure I will deliver earlier. Tsk.
Honestly though, I wasn’t this excited when I first found out that I am pregnant. I mean, yes I want another baby, I just didn’t expect to get pregnant so soon. I thought that Shan will still need my attention and my intention was to breastfeed him until he turns 2. The husband and I wanted to try end of this year, but this is His gift to us and when I think about all the other women who are trying so hard to get pregnant, I say a little prayer thanking Him for giving me yet another great gift. 
However, there are some things that I DO NOT look forward to during and after pregnancy -
1. Weight gain – Cannot deny this fact. I have just lost all the weight and now I have to put on all the weight back. Lol
2. Morning sickness during 1st trimester – Fortunately, I am already reaching my 2nd month and no vomiting so far! Just that stupid weird taste in my mouth (i can go on forever about this)
3. Fatigue – Cannot tahan this one. Walk a little bit, I need to sit. I cannot even put on makeup standing. SO LAZY.
4. Mood swing – Yes I get moody one minute and another minute I can smile like a puppy.
Those isted above are all the things that will happen during the first trimester. 2nd trimester IS THE BEST part of pregnancy. I LOVE 2nd trimester. Nothing to complain about it, so moving on to the 3r and last trimester.
1. Heavy and difficulty walking – I remember when I was pregnant with Shan, I had so much difficulty walking and it was always so painful down there.
2. Nothing fits anymore – Your tummy is so big and round (your ass too) nothing can fit you. Yes, my last trimester I look like a tempayan.
3. The ‘is-it-today-is-it-not’ feeling EVERYDAY – yup, everyday I imagine going into labour and practice my urgent call to the husband (I always assume he will be at work)
…and then comes labour..
1. The ‘how many cm?’ – Gynae checking and putting their hands inside you, down there to check how many cm dilated you are. That is SO NOT FUN.
2. The wait – When will I deliver. When will the pain come? What will be baby look like? Will baby be healthy?
3. The CONTRACTIONS – BIG OUCH this one. I have no words to describe it lah. It’s like someone shove their whole arm inside you and turn your spine like 360 degrees for fun every 2-3 minutes.
4. The pushing – I pushed for 2 hours with Shan. He refused to come out and despite my gynae saying she wanted to use forceps, I kept saying no and kept pushing because I didn’t want to hurt baby or anything (but actually nope, forceps will not hurt baby at all)
..after baby is born…You will so bloody (literally) happy and thankful to Him. REALLY. But after that…
1. The stiches – yup, I can feel my gynae sewing me up like I am a cow with a very bad cut.
2. The soreness – I was so traumatized after the labour. The pain I felt below at the v-jay-jay was so so painful that when I sleep, I get nightmares that I am still in labour. It was horrible
3. The recovery – this is the part that I am really not looking forward to. I felt helpless because I was in pain and couldn’t move much. I couldn’t attend to Shan that much and it made me feel so bad.
4. Hair Loss – yes I was bald at the sides after about 4 months of giving birth and hair only grew back when Shan was 9 months old!
That’s it! I just feel I should write all these down as memory. I am currently reading all my previous entries during my pregnancy with Shan and truthfully, despite all that I went through it is definitely worth it. Shan is the best thing that has ever happened to me and no amount of pain will stop me from having another baby of my own. A few months of pain is nothing compared to the laughter I get every single day when I see my baby.
May this journey be a smooth one for me, Inshaallah.
Been having that weird and funny feeling lately. Actually not lately but just yesterday. Shan was jumping up and down on my tummy and I feel like he should stop. Which is weird cos I usually enjoy playing rough with shan.
Later that day, I started having that really weird not nice nak mampos taste in my mouth! I will NEVER EVER forget that EVER. It’s so awful! So when I started feeling that in my mouth, I knew something is up! (women are just soooooooo good with their instincts i tell you!). I whatsapp the husband who was on night shift and told him. His reply? “ha ha ha”. Funny is it?!
So anyway, he then said I should get a test kit (but it was already 9pm and I was too lazy to go down to the shop). Told him to buy one on the way back from work the next morning. I felt so tired somehow and went to sleep at 11pm or so and woke up at around 9pm. And another strange thing was that – shan woke up at around 4am wanting to drink milk (still bfeeding by the way) but I didn’t want to give to him. I feel the need to stop him from drinking. But I gave in because he was kissing me all over asking for milk. That’s the deal nowadays. Whenever he wants milk, he will kiss me first. Lol.
So okay. The husband came home WITHOUT the test kit. I then got the helper to buy for me and i tested the moment she got home. And guess what?
Positive. Tested twice. Yes. Positive. The husband was so excited. I was more in shock than anything at first. I look at shan (who was oblivious and climbing all over me on the bed) and i felt so sad that the attention will soon be lesser for him. And that I have to stop bfeeding him already. He is still a BABY! And then he looked up to me and went “horseeeeee”. Lol he saw a book with a picture of a zebra. Very funny Shan.
So yeah. I am pregnant and nope I don’t know how far along I am yet. Made an appointment to see a gynae this Saturday and I will find out then.
Alhamdullilah and thank You for another wondeful gift – Inshallah.
A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine had to abort her baby girl, who was already 5 1/2 months old in her tummy. I was very much affected by what she had to go through, especially since it was her parents who forced her to get rid of the baby. She really wanted to keep her baby. She begged her parents, but I guess it’s already fated. Her daughter already has a place in heaven. Till today, whenever I think of her, I think of her baby girl. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and so I started tweeting about it. Not surprisingly, I received MANY MANY replies about it and most of them were surprised that my friend’s parents had the heart to ‘kill’ their own grandchild. Well, I guess we won’t be able to know how they feel unless we are in their position right? What if it happens to your daughter? If she gets pregnant out of wedlock, would you force her to abort her baby? Even I don’t have an answer for that.
So anyway, I would like to share with you an email I received from someone who went through a situation just like my friend, except it is a little bit different….
“Hi Nurul
I was reading your tweets regarding your friend’s abortion and it gave my heart a little squeeze. Even though my story and hers is very different, I know damn well what she is going through. I’d msg you on twitter if i could but my accnt is private and you were’nt following me.. so i couldn’t do that.
Let me introduce myself, I am in my early twenties and is a mother to a 4 month old babygirl. Just like your friend, my pregnancy was a secret too. I kept it from my parents for a whole 6 months. But; unlike your friend, I didn’t have the support of my then-boyfriend(who is now my husband) during the first 6 months of the pregnancy. I went through the first 6 months on my own.
I was only 11weeks along then when we found out I was pregnant and we were still deciding what to do with my pregnancy. I was half-hearted to abort and to keep the baby. It was simply.. hard. On the other hand, my then-boyfriend was hell-bent on aborting the baby. We were given a counselling session too before the real abortion. Only thing is, he didn’t turn up. I turned up alone. I didn’t know what I was thinking then, but i gave in to him. I signed the abortion papers. On the day I was supposed to go through the abortion, we were already just standing outside the clinic door but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I walked off from the clinic and whatever happens after that.. will remain in history.
Even though she haven’t fully developed in my tummy, she already had heartbeats. It broke my heart into a million pieces knowing that I have to abort this baby in my tummy who is depending on me to live a life . She is not depending on anyone else, but me. I couldn’t just let her down like that. And I am not about to make her pay for my mistake. Afterall, at that point of time, I was already a mother to an unborn child. And I would do what all mothers would do for their children, that is to protect them with all their life.
When my parents found out about my pregnancy, the both of them wouldn’t talk to me. They couldn’t even look at me in the eye. I knew I let them down really bad. And I really feel sorry I brought this upon them because I am also the one among my siblings they had high hopes for. But all I am asking for was for them to acknowledge my baby as their grandchild. That’s all.
I’m really thankful and blessed that my gloomy days was just a passing phase. Everything became better around my 7th month pregnancy. My family were supportive and my then-boyfriend had a total change of his heart. Now, she is the apple of everyone’s eyes. Everytime I bring her out, she surely will bring a smile on anyone’s face.
Everytime I look at her now, I still feel a squeeze in my heart. I can sometimes feel the pain too. This is the first time I ever stood so strongly by my decision. I am not a fighter, I let go of things easily. So this is the first time I fought for anybody/anything. It sure does hurt whenever people give me that doubting look, but I wouldn’t let that stand in my way. In fact, I let nothing stand in my way.
I hope this could be an inspiration to any girls out there who are going through this hard moment.. since your blog have a high traffic.
If you do publish my story,I hope you won’t publish my website too. I do not like getting the attention and many still do not know that my babygirl is made with love out of wedlock. Thank you. ”
:’( Like she said, I really hope her story can help others who are facing the same situation. Even if you are unable to keep the baby, maybe put it up for adoption? There are so many couples who have been trying to conceive for so long but couldn’t.
I don’t know, maybe I am just way too affected by this because I have a baby. I cannot imagine my life without my baby now. Yes, he cries, poops, gets cranky and needs attention and all but at the end of the day, when I look at him sleeping, there is an overwhelming feeling of love for him.
If you are facing the same situation, I hope you will make the right decision for yourself. At the end of the day, it is YOUR baby and your baby is depending on you to live.
YUP, I am already 2cm dilated as of today. 37 weeks and 1 day pregnant. It is exactly what I want to hear from my gynae’s mouth. I need to know that I am at least a little bit dilated because if I wasn’t, then all the pain I have been experiencing means nothing. So, yeah.
She said it is unlikely that I’ll give birth this week, but it will definitely be next week. Baby’s birthday will fall in between 20th-27th sept. My mum’s birthday is on the 19th sept and my twin nieces on 23rd sept.
If everything goes well for the next few days, I will be going for my next check up on 22nd sept. That is, if my waterbag doesn’t burst and contractions are still under control. I was told to come to hospital if I start bleeding, waterbag burst or when the contractions are 10 mins apart. Whichever comes first.
Baby S is doing well and he is now 2.8kg. Gynae said, “good weight. You should be able to deliver him well”. Ok, glad to know that. I’m so happy his weight is more stabilized now, at least I don’t have to worry about him being too big.
Oh before I forget, the internal exam that the gynae did on me was so uncomfortable!! I’m sure many would agree with me on this. She basically inserted her 3 fingers (or maybe her whole hand) into me, trying to reach for the waterbag. Oh my god. I wonder how it’ll be like when they do that while I am having contractions. Hopefully I won’t be kicking anyone’s face. :-/
I have plans this weekend. Heh heh. I want/need to go for hari raya visiting on both Saturday and sunday. I missed out on last weekend’s outing so I want to make sure I don’t miss it again. Hopefully I am still up for it and these pain that I’m getting on my left hip that is causing me to walk funny will go away. Oh and please, waterbag don’t burst when I am at a relative’s house! Lol that would be very funny! I can imagine my PILs panicking and everyone else like Diah, Ili, Shafiq and the husband giggling at a corner.
Ah well, good luck to me. Updates will be given via twitter, if you are interested.
I have a week. Maybe I should go on a midnight movie date with the husband. For the last time.
36 Weeks 5 Days – Stayed at home on 2nd day of Hari raya due to very bad diarrhoea. One thing about 1st time pregnancies is that we don’t know what we are experiencing. I was in so much pain and honestly thought I was going to go into labour soon. But after calling the hospital and seeking advice from friends, I decided to wait it out, which I am glad I did. The pain I was experiencing was probably due to food poisoning and Braxton hicks both happening at the same time.
I also read online and found out that diarrhoea is an early stage of labour, to clear your body of toxic before giving birth to baby. Well, that is a whole lot of toxic!
When I called the hospital, I was told to start timing the ‘contractions’. I then told them I wasn’t sure if it was contractions because I don’t know what contraction feels like. They said it’s like menstrual cramp and it will get more intense. Yup, it does feel like menstrual cramp that come and goes and hurts my lower back quite bad. The nurse said if I am still having diarrhoea tomorrow, then I will have to come in so that they can check on baby. Honestly, as much as I want baby to come out when he is ready, I am already impatient and I want all this discomfort to go away as soon as possible.
I don’t know what to expect now, all I can do is wait and see what will happen in the next few hours. And I just realize that I have been having diarrhoea for almost 24 hours now. My God.
To all my readers (and haters), Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Dan Batin. My first day of Hari Raya was rather emotional, but anyhow, here’s a picture we took just because he insists that we have at least one decent picture together before I give birth.
This week, Baby S turns 35 weeks. I am aiming to at least reach 37 weeks so hang in there little one! (Let mummy wear her Raya outfit and eat as much ketupat as she wants first ok?).
All the early labour signs are here by the way, I am already swelling ‘down there’ and if I walk too much, I can feel pressure there too and sometimes there is a tingly feeling and i would automatically place my hand right below my tummy as if to stop baby from coming down. Heh. When that happens, I will have to stop walking and take a breather before I can continue. Although I was told to walk a lot especially at the last few stages, my body simply cannot take much walking anymore and oh my goodness, my walking pace is sooooo slow it annoys the husband. Hehehehe But he’s been really patient with my mood swings so far. One minute i’d be smiling happily and another minute I’d want to go home and rest, oh and not forgetting the emotional part too. I get upset over trivial matters like for example the dusty ceiling fan! It’s funny now when I think about it, but when I was really upset, I cried so much just because I can’t climb and clean it myself. How ridiculous is that?
Moving on, we are currently having a problem with space. There is no room for baby at all until we move, which is in January so we have no choice but to buy a temporary chest of (plastic) drawers to put all of baby’s clothes. Poor baby, mummy and daddy will make sure you have your own room with your own space soon ok. For now, you will have to share our space and keep EVERYTHING in our tiny room. I hope you don’t mind.
For now, all of baby’s items are ready. From diapers right up to ‘minyak telon’. I looooooooove the smell of minyak telon. It’s such a baby smell. It’s safe to say that if he decides to come out anytime soon, we are ready physically. Mentally? I am still not sure. Haha yes, I am still afraid of the pain. I have been reading up on labour stories lately and it seems like epidural is the way to go. I have no idea how MY labour would be like and I cannot imagine being in so much pain. I am such a crybaby, I am sooooooo sure I’d be crying non stop and by the time baby S is out, my eyes would be swollen and he’d cry when he see me. “why does my mummy look so scary? uweeekkkkkkkkkK!!!!!!!!!”
We will have to decide on circumcision for baby soon, whether or not to it after birth. Both of us refuse to be with baby during the process. Lol We would probably need volunteers who are willing to accompany him. Heh. So, to do it right after or to wait? Many (via twitter) said it is better to do it within the first month after baby’s birth because healing period is shorter (baby is only on milk and no solid food) and there is very little pain for him. Some said their babies didn’t even cry during the process! You ladies are such lucky mummies! Maybe I will be the one crying, not him.
I am now staring at baby’s bassinet (which belonged to Sharleez by the way and there are tiny heart shaped cushions dangling everywhere. Hopefully Baby S won’t get confused) and wondering if I will put him in the bassinet at night when sleeping. For all you know, he will be sleeping with us on our bed because the smell of a baby is just too hard to resist.
For now, it is just a waiting game. Once I reach my 37th week, I shall countdown to baby’s arrival. I can’t wait to meet him, but I also don’t want him to leave my tummy because I will miss having him in me, I am sure. Going to continue reading up on labour stories and master the breathing technique.
Tummy at 33 Weeks:
Tummy at 34 Weeks:
Today, I reached my 34th week and 4 days of pregnancy, almost 8 months and 3 weeks pregnant and I am so tired. Here’s what I am experiencing right now:
Water Retention – Swollen feet and legs caused me to walk even more slowly now.
Braxton Hicks – Yup, mild contractions every now and then that started sometime last week. Sometimes it gets just a little bit painful and all I have to do is ‘tonggeng’ on the floor or bed and it’ll go away. (so I heard real contractions hurt A WHOLE LOT MOREEEEEEEEEE.)
‘Lightening’ – I didn’t know what that sharp pain at my pelvis area was at first until I asked Diah. Her reply to my question was ‘Oh My God’. Yup, and she said she only experienced it when she was in labour ward. I freaked out and I honestly wanted to cry. So I googled and found out that it’s called ‘Lightening’ and definitely a sign of labour. Everytime I get that pain, I would automatically feel like keeping my legs together and pressing hard. That is the baby’s head moving further down my body.
Nesting – YUP, again I didn’t know what nesting was until I googled and when I read, it totally describes what I am doing RIGHT NOW. “the insatiable desire to organize and clean the house, or to suddenly tackle a big project” HAHAHA. That is so true! I suddenly had the urge to clean up my room and studio to make way for baby and buy all the necessary items in one day. As for that big project, yes yes a big project for Studiofrost that came also out of nowhere and I kept telling myself that I can do it and I must do it before I give birth.
I am currently experiencing all of the above PLUS backaches and pains, swollen fingers and toes, trouble sleeping, heartburn, itching tummy and etc etc. Alhamdullilah, i have been fasting since the first day of Ramadhan. Maybe it’s berkat from Him, but I don’t feel hungry or thirsty throughout the day. It feels normal. Baby S remains active even during fasting month, especially around 6 in the evening right up to when I break fast. Maybe he knows it’s almost time to ‘makan’. Right after breaking fast, Baby S will be dancing chachacha in my tummy and he will keep doing that until I go to sleep. Nowadays, I get so tired; I go straight to dreamland the moment I lie on my bed. I wake up several times at night, of course because of the pain and erm to urinate. Also, I realized that I only sleep in 1 position. There was one night, I went to bed lying down facing my right and I woke up the next morning in the same position. It is too much of a hassle to change positions when sleeping because this whale will wake the husband up with her BIG movements. LOL
To all other pregnant mummies who are at the same stage as me, leave comments and tell me what you are experiencing please? It is so comforting to get comments from people who tells me ‘it’s going to be ok’, because although I know it will hurt like %$$#%@$#!$@#, the words of encouragement and support will always make me feel slightly better.
..So just last week I met 2 friends who just gave birth to their beautiful babies. One, gave birth at 36 weeks and another at 37 weeks. I am at my 31 now, so that means that there is a possibility that I might be giving birth in 5 weeks time. I don’t know how many times I have said this, but I am terrified. Like really so bloody scared of going through labour.
Many said it will be ok and I do know that, but I can’t help this feeling.
Oh and if I were to give birth at 36 weeks, that will be during fasting month! Nooooo!!! I want to celebrate hari raya!!! I remember diah giving birth to her twins during fasting month and actually brought both mysha and myreen out for raya visiting even though they were only a few weeks old. Haha how’d she do it? Don’t ask me! That freak’s tummy vanished almost immediately after giving birth to the twins. So unfair. :p
Oh yes, thank you to my readers for reminding me to pack my hospital bag! Lol I completely forgot that that is the most important bag to pack and I should get it ready as soon as now. I shall get to it in the next few days. (I don’t know what I should be packing, but I will ask the experienced people around me).
Speaking of which, I will be taking maternity pictures with the husband soon. I should have done it sooner though; my tummy wouldn’t be this round. Now it looks kind of freaky and ballonish.
Already 30 weeks 2 days pregnant and only 68 days more to go before I pop, before I become a mummy. I don’t know how prepared I am for this even though both husband and I wanted a baby for quite a while before He decided to give me one (Thank you, Allah).
I am afraid of so many things right now, afraid of labour pains, afraid of the huge responsibilty that will be put on me, afraid of not being able to give Baby S all the support he needs and many more. I have never imagined myself as a mother, although I know that I am good with kids and I love them very much. I mean, it is different when it is your own child right? Having to care and provide for a human being 24/7 is totally different from playing with a niece or nephew. Can I handle this? There are so many mixed emotions in me right now. I feel so tired even though I have had enough rest and sleep. I feel hungry but when I start eating, I can’t seem to finish my food. I prefer to be alone and not talk to anybody (which is so not me). I feel like there is still so much to do, before Baby S arrives and it is driving me crazy just thinking about it. Every day I would tell myself to do something about it and I will always end up not doing it because I get tired just standing for more than 10 minutes, and the worst part is when I feel so tired, I tend to take it up on anyone near me. This is so unlike me, I was such a patient girl you know!
For example, I was buying waffles from Polar earlier (their waffles are nice btw!) and I had to wait in line because there were 2 more orders before me. After waiting for 5 mins, I actually snapped at the lady making my waffle, “maybe if you intend to make people wait this long, you should at least place some chairs here so that they can sit”. I wanted to kick myself right after I said that. She was really nice and apologised for making me wait for a mere 5 minutes. I felt even worse after that. Sigh.
The tummy’s weight is really getting to me. I feel like it is pulling me down when I walk and I get sharp pains ‘down there’ when I walk too much. I am only at my 7.5 months and already experiencing all these. I can’t imagine how it is going to be like for the next 4 weeks. It’s been a very challenging last trimester.
But despite everything, I am still grateful for being pregnant, for carrying life inside me and you know the best part? It is talking to Baby S every night before I go to bed and him responding to me with his kicks and punches. Bliss.
29 weeks – 77 days to go!!!
At 29 weeks, i celebrated my 28th birthday with the family, both mine and husbands’ with a big bang. Err ok la, not really BIG, but for once the in-laws decided to have a birthday celebration outdoor and we had bbq on Sunday at Pasir Ris beach with the theme (duh) ‘Beach’. Lame, I know but we don’t want to scare the public away, you see. So, theme had to be a little bit more subtle.
For more pictures from the ‘Beach’ party, wait for Etrangle. :p
Moving on…to…
Baby S. Yes we have confirmed his name and after much thinking and discussion, it is going to be just one name instead of two. I don’t know why we cracked our brains just to find a 2nd name for him when there isn’t any rule that states we HAVE to have 2 names. So one name it is. We shall call him Baby S for now.
Husband and I already bought Baby’s stroller and car seat last week. I feel like a heavy load has been lifted off my chest. I know we still have a lot to buy, but at least we’ve settled on the big stuff for now. Other than baby’s stroller, we also bought his necessities like shampoo, powder, lotions, sleepwear, mittens and other nitty gritty items. Basically, we grabbed whatever we could for now.
My sister will be passing down to me all the newborn wear soon, so I won’t need to buy so much she said. I love hand-me-downs by the way! The husband said we should be getting all new items for Baby S because it’s just fair that we get brand new stuff for him, which I agree. But I heard hand-me-downs are good for baby? Or is that a myth? The husband’s so particular when it comes to buying for his son, even I couldn’t take it! Imagine I can’t even buy Johnson’s baby powder in pink packaging and have to get the one in white packaging instead? Lol, yes to that extend. Even after I told him how much I love the smell of johnson’s baby powder in pink packaging, he still insists on boring white. Blearghh…
Anyway, what other important items do I need to get? I will have to make a checklist asap or if any of you have any suggestions, leave a comment ya.
7 month – How big am I now?
Picture taken at Anugerah Skrin finals with Raudha Ismail (ms manager), Eally Jolie (hehe) and Zalinah (who *just* gave birth to a pretty baby girl 3 weeks ago) by Mr Pujangga Malam. (tks for the pic, sir!). I didnt take any picture of tummy this week, tsk tsk.
There are a lot of things I don’t expect about being pregnant, actually. Looking at my sisters when they were pregnant, I thought it is just like putting a ball under your shirt. Yes, I am that shallow.
I didn’t know that I would reach a stage where my walking pace would be so slow! The other day while I was walking with sharleez, she said to me, “aan, can you walk faster?” Ya, thanks la!
I have my reason for walking so slowly ok…it’s because my tummy feels so heavy now and many also commented that it looks like its sitting too low. Honestly, I do feel that way too…like if I am not careful, my baby’s head might just pop out at you-know-where. Now THAT would be scary. I am so not prepared for that. *shudders*
There are so many things I wanted to say for my 7th month update but I can’t seem to recall what they were. Ya, short term memory, blame it on the pregnancy. Heh
OH! I don’t like to go to sleep now. Yup, I lovED to sleep but not anymore and it’s not because I don’t want to, but I can no longer sleep comfortably. I can have as many pillows as I want, but nothing seems to work for me. I have told myself to resign to fate and just live with the pains and aches every night. Other than that, I am also having trouble doing my prayers the usual way. I have to do my prayers sitting because when I get down to ‘sujud’, I can’t get up without losing my balance! I look just like a humpty dumpty, who needs help from all the king’s horses. Seriously.
So anyway, hari raya is coming *happy dance* and I am so excited for it this year you know why? I want to eat all I want. I don’t have to worry about fitting into any tight kebayas this year and THAT is what I look forward to. Oh and all the food at geylang bazaar during fasting month! How can anyone not look forward to that? I want I want! I want Ramly Burger, otak-otak, prawn ball, sharks fin soup, putu piring, cempedak goreng and oh my!! DENGDENG!! I am prepared, my friends…prepared to put on another 10kg at my last trimester. :p I shall worry about losing weight after labour. Good luck to me.
I thought I would have a problem with my hari raya outfits this year because I won’t be able to tailor make any outfit. I don’t know how big I’d be by the time hari raya comes, but I am so glad that Studiofrost will be bringing in hari raya exclusive dresses this year. We’ve wanted to do it the past years, but we never had the time…so after careful planning, we finally will be having exclusive hari raya outfits this year. The first batch was the lace dresses which came about a week ago, some of you might have already purchased for yourself. Me? I am keeping every colour! Ya, call me kiasu la ok? What’s not to like? By the time hari raya comes, I’d be 8 months plus pregnant and the lace dress would still be able to fit me. Don’t need to worry about after labour; I can still wear it after I’ve popped! You can visit http://studiofrost.net/shop to check out the lace dresses. We have only several pieces of each colour left though.
Other than that, we will also have chiffon butterfly dresses for hari raya that will arrive soon. Oh, this is really exclusive and we are not selling a lot. It is especially for hari raya and of course we don’t want everyone to be wearing the same dress on the same day. :p so we will be taking orders for it. This is another piece I love so much because it is so classy and whether you are pregnant or not, big size or small size, you will look good in it. This, I promise. It is made to cater to all sizes. All I can say is wait for it.
Alright, back to my baby now. I need to start getting baby’s necessities already! I need to start putting together baby’s cot before I get any bigger. Also, we need to get bottles, strollers, lotions, ointments, pampers and many other necessary items. When are we going to start buying, my dear husband? I think if we wait longer, my walking pace would decrease tremendously. When that happens, don’t blame me aaaah.
Reached my 27th week of pregnancy this week. Although it is the early stages of 3rd trimester, I am already getting the backaches and sleeping is very difficult at night. Whenever I face right, baby would kick and punch me hard. When I face left, my back hurts so I couldn’t sleep. So everynight I have to either bear with the backache, or let the baby kick and punch me all he wants. I always choose the latter, obviously.
The kicks and punches are precious to me that’s why I tried a million times to capture his movements on video. But I also failed a million times. He can kick me so hard everywhere, but the minute I press the record button, he would stop! The husband is my witness. He saw how abrupt baby would stop kicking and moving. Eh alamak, you CANNOT be camera shy, baby. Both daddy and mummy (especially mummy) are very shameless people, you know?
Now that my tummy is full grown, I have people coming up to me in public and guessing baby’s gender. Strange that almost all of them guessed correctly. According to them, if tummy is round and pointed, it’s a boy, well its either they are experienced or there is an octopus in them. :p
Picture taken at 6 months, 3 weeks
Baby is kicking me everywhere in my tummy right now. Left, right up and down. It hurts when he kicks me right under my bust real hard. According to gynae, it will only get worse in the 3rd trimester. The kicks will get harder and it will be more uncomfortable for me as I get bigger. Well, if mothers who are pregnant with twins can do it, I don’t see why I can’t! *an image of diah pregnant with mysha & myreen at 8 months just came to mind. SCARY*
My check up yesterday went well. Thank goodness, gynae said baby is 1.3 kg now, which is a good size. He is a medium-large baby and I don’t have to worry about his weight for now. Took a video of the ultrasound scan and baby was smiling and sticking his tongue out after we spotted his mouth. Haha It was all caught on video, but it is not so clear. Don’t think any of you would be able to tell where his mouth is. See if you can see his eyes and mouth from this video…
Can you? He might have his daddy’s eyes this little boy. My eyes are not that big.
Oh and FINALLY! We might have already decided on his name. I need to check a little bit more on the meaning before I confirm on it though, just in case. Once confirmed, I can already start referring to him as Baby S. Yey!
I am 5 months and 3 weeks pregnant. 6 months next week. Which means 3 more months to go. It’s getting closer and I am getting scared. :s
Nothing much since last update, but I have a picture of my tummy taken last week.
Tummy is definitely getting bigger and my navel, I think will soon start to stick out. It is now halfway out and it looks really weird. Baby’s punches and kicks are harder and he seems to be up all day, moving from one side to another. Loving it!
Husband and I still have not decided on baby’s name yet. I do not have any names in mind at the moment and I prefer to wait and look at baby first before deciding what name is suitable for him. A friends suggested that we shortlist a few and choose only when we’ve met him. We tried to sit and think of names with pen and paper ready, but we always end up making stupid jokes and wanting to name our baby some ridiculous names. I give up! Not going to put too much pressure on that. I am sure we will get to it when the time comes.
Shopping – Oh my oh my! I went crazy online earlier today looking at all the baby clothes I can buy for my baby! I seriously and desperately want to shop for him, but timing is not right . I found cowboy and fedora hats for 0-3 months and can already imagine my baby wearing hats at such a small age! How cute! I placed all the items I want in cart but I i did not check out of course. Lol the husband would probably kill me if he knows how much I am intending to spend on baby’s clothes ALONE. We have yet to buy the other necessary items like milk bottles, stroller and car seat. We have to do it soon though, since it is the Great Singapore Sale now.
I have been thinking about us moving out of 121 and moving to 216 in January 2011. Baby will be 3 months old by then, but the thought of staying at home, just me and baby scares me. For his first 3 months, my mum will still be with us so at least I know that if I have questions, my mum will be there to guide me. So once we’ve moved, I will be on my own. How do I shower during the day? I dont think I can leave my sleeping baby and take a shower. What if he wakes up and I can’t hear him? Oy goodness, I am being such a freak. I forced the husband to take at least a week leave after we moved just so that I can adjust to the new home and taking care of our baby all bymyself in our new home. I can’t imagine how it would be like. I feel so adult. Haha
Weight – I have gained a total of 9kg so far but I dont feel THAT heavy. I wonder how BIG I will get at 9 months. I hope I wont get too fat because then I will look like a giant. And how am I supposed to lose all the weight after giving birth? I heard so many frightening stories from my girlfriends who have given birth and none of them are nice. Lol. Good luck to me, I guess.
OH! Recently, husband and I have been watching kids whenever we are out. We will watch their behaviour and honestly, we are so so afraid that our baby will turn out to be loud and shrieky and cranky and will throw tantrum all the time. We saw kids like that and how their parents would beat and scream at them in public to make them stop crying immediately because they are embarassed that everyone’s looking. Please, I hope and pray that I won’t be like that. Insyallah.
Anyway, I want to publish this blog soon, for everyone to read. After I’ve sort the Nuffnang issue, I will and I shall! Going to surf and find out the price for the domain now. BYE!
it’s the beginning of June and I turned 22 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. Nothing changed since last week, except baby’s kicks are more obvious now and he is kicking a storm in my tummy which i love so much. He is very active at night when I want to sleep and will start kicking and moving by 6am everyday. Nope, I am nt complaining! In fact, everytime he is moving or kicking, I would play with him, talk to him and sometimes put husband’s hands on my tummy. I remember the first time husband felt baby’s kicks. He was so amazed and kept pressing my tummy because he wants baby to make bigger movements. Haha. But baby’s kicks are usually more intense whenever husband places his hands on my tummy. He said baby is probably saying, “Get away!!!!!!” *DOOOSH!* :p Kick and punch away baby, im loving it and I know i will miss this once you are out from my tummy.
I am seriously worried about not getting to eat as much after I give birth. Been thinking about it for 2 days now. lol I enjoy eating and so far, most of the weight I put on are going to baby, so that simply means that I am eating but not putting on much weight on my body! It sucks that once baby is out, I will have to go back to eating only what I need and not what I want. (wooo baby is kicking non stop at this moment). I know la, i’m being a greedy pig. I shall enjoy this moment while it lasts then.
Husband and I are planning to buy baby’s stroller soon because it is the GSS now and they are giving great discounts. But we are still deciding between Peg Preo and Maxi Cosi. Both are equally good, except I kind of prefer Maxi Cosi. Haha husband said he likes Peg Prego’s look. I am looking more into convenience because I know I will be with baby most of the time and I will have to handle the stroller all by myself so it has to be easy for me. The price for both strollers is about the same, probably $50-$60 lesser for Maxi Cosi. I am torn between those 2!
We havent gone shopping for baby’s other necessary items yet, although I know we already have to. I am now 5 1/2 months pregnant but somehow feels like I have to wait a little bit longer before going out to buy his clothes, bottles and all the creams and oils. Lol i dont even know what they are called. :-/
Anyway, took a picture of my tummy on 28th May when we went out.
As my tummy grows and the months go by, I am getting slightly nervous about baby seeing the world. I dont know if I will make a good mummy. What if I am one of those parent who cant stand baby’s cries and will scream at him whenever he cries? What if baby loves to scream at the top of his lungs in public and I am there all alone to handle him? What if baby refuse to latch on and I cant breastfeed him? Will I give up? I mean, for now of course I would say I will never give up, but when the time comes and the presure is on, will I be able to take it? Not sure if other mummies face this too, but I am afraid of this huge responsibility. Afraid I am unable to provide him with the best. Sigh. Maybe I am being a freak and shouldnt worry too much about it and take it as it goes. I dont know.
Suddenly so emo now. Bye
5 months! As per the counter on this blog, baby is already 10 inches long. my, that is long. i can cradle baby with my 2 hands now? best nye.
i cant stop wondering how baby is doing in my tummy. it feels like my last check up with the gynae was just too long ago. I cant wait to see her again tomorrow and to find out how baby is doing. How is his position, how much weight he has gained and if he is growing healthily. I know for sure that baby’s position is not right. the last time Dr Venga did an ultrasound, baby was on standing on the left. Recently, i’ve been feeling slight pain on my right, so maybe he moved to the right side of my tummy. Hello there! *taps on tummy*
I havent been feeling him moving off late. I’ve done everything, like reading, singing and asking husband to talk to baby. Nothing. My mum said its normal and maybe because I am only at my 5th month, i might not be able to feel his kicks as much because he is still small. ok then. I hope he will kick me, strong and hard!
My tummy. No doubt about it now, one look at me and everyone knows that I am pregnant. Haha yes, I am so happy about that. I am honestly loving this part of pregnancy. I dont feel fat, i look pregnant, but not too big and i can get away with wearing ANYTHING at all. Heck, some of the clothes I wear now are clothes i WILL NEVER wear when im not pregnant. Somehow, some clothes looks better on me with this tummy. Oh and alhamdullilah, my tummy is clean (well, for now). No stretch marks. Yet. So while it is still clean and my body still looks human enough, husband insisted to take some shots of me and tummy. Here’s one.
Love this picture by the way!
Anyway, our house is *almost* settled, insyallah. We’ve found our home at block 216 and although nothing is confirmed yet, I can already imagine us (as in husb, baby and me) staying there. According to our agent, we will be moving in January, which is perfect because baby would be 3 months by then and it would be easier to settle down when baby is already 3 months old. Tonight I will be meeting the house owner and most probably offer him my price. I just hope and pray that a ‘malay’ can buy that flat. HDB is being all weird about the race of the people occupying the 200 series. *fingers crossed*
ok, update on baby, done! I still owe this blog an ultrasound picture of baby. next time next time!
I cant even remember what happened in the past week.Without realising it, I have already reached my 17th week of pregnancy. The only obvious difference is my tummy right now. I think it is growing by the hour or something. Husband looked at my tummy today and commented, “it wasnt this big yesterday. Did you eat a lot?” Well, I didnt. :-/
I cant recall what I did the past week or so except I know for sure that I have been having bad headaches almost every day. Tried to refrain from taking the paracetamol gynae gave me, but I eventually gave in when it got unbearable. Those pills doesnt work on me though. Maybe my body is too used to Panadol Extra. My bad, for popping those Extras whenever i was in pain. Gynae said I STRICTLY can’t take Panadol Extra. Hokay then, I shall ‘tahan’.
I have also been feeling guilty for not doing much for baby. Been so busy and tired lately rhat sometimes, I fall asleep while reading or talking to him. Make me feel so bad the next morning.
I feel like I haven’t been giving him any attention the past week or so. I was supposed to go to the library to borrow some new books to read to him, but I have been putting it off because my everyday are packed with things to do, errands to run. It is not an excuse though, I know that. Gotta get my butt to the library asap!
Last week, husband and I was supposed to go shopping for baby’s clothes, but AGAIN it got cancelled because husband has an assignment to finish. I almost wanted to go by myself.
It will be a chaotic week and I hope next week will be a better for me and baby. I need more time in a day, please! Sorry baby, I will be all yours from next week onwards, promise!
