A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine had to abort her baby girl, who was already 5 1/2 months old in her tummy. I was very much affected by what she had to go through, especially since it was her parents who forced her to get rid of the baby.  She really wanted to keep her baby. She begged her parents, but I guess it’s already fated. Her daughter already has a place in heaven. Till today, whenever I think of her, I think of her baby girl. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and so I started tweeting about it. Not surprisingly, I received MANY MANY replies about it and most of them were surprised that my friend’s parents had the heart to ‘kill’ their own grandchild. Well, I guess we won’t be able to know how they feel unless we are in their position right? What if it happens to your daughter? If she gets pregnant out of wedlock, would you force her to abort her baby? Even I don’t have an answer for that.

So anyway, I would like to share with you an email I received from someone who went through a situation just like my friend, except it is a little bit different….

“Hi Nurul

I was reading your tweets regarding your friend’s abortion and it gave my heart a little squeeze. Even though my story and hers is very different, I know damn well what she is going through. I’d msg you on twitter if i could but my accnt is private and you were’nt following me.. so i couldn’t do that.

Let me introduce myself, I am in my early twenties and is a mother to a 4 month old babygirl. Just like your friend, my pregnancy was a secret too. I kept it from my parents for a whole 6 months. But; unlike your friend, I didn’t have the support of my then-boyfriend(who is now my husband) during the first 6 months of the pregnancy. I went through the first 6 months on my own.

I was only 11weeks along then when we found out I was pregnant and we were still deciding what to do with my pregnancy. I was half-hearted to abort and to keep the baby. It was simply.. hard. On the other hand, my then-boyfriend was hell-bent on aborting the baby. We were given a counselling session too before the real abortion. Only thing is, he didn’t turn up. I turned up alone. I didn’t know what I was thinking then, but i gave in to him. I signed the abortion papers. On the day I was supposed to go through the abortion, we were already just standing outside the clinic door but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I walked off from the clinic and whatever happens after that.. will remain in history.

Even though she haven’t fully developed in my tummy, she already had heartbeats. It broke my heart into a million pieces knowing that I have to abort this baby in my tummy who is depending on me to live a life . She is not depending on anyone else, but me. I couldn’t just let her down like that. And I am not about to make her pay for my mistake. Afterall, at that point of time, I was already a mother to an unborn child. And I would do what all mothers would do for their children, that is to protect them with all their life.

When my parents found out about my pregnancy, the both of them wouldn’t talk to me. They couldn’t even look at me in the eye. I knew I let them down really bad. And I really feel sorry I brought this upon them because I am also the one among my siblings they had high hopes for. But all I am asking for was for them to acknowledge my baby as their grandchild. That’s all.

I’m really thankful and blessed that my gloomy days was just a passing phase. Everything became better around my 7th month pregnancy. My family were supportive and my then-boyfriend had a total change of his heart. Now, she is the apple of everyone’s eyes. Everytime I bring her out, she surely will bring a smile on anyone’s face.

Everytime I look at her now, I still feel a squeeze in my heart. I can sometimes feel the pain too. This is the first time I ever stood so strongly by my decision. I am not a fighter, I let go of things easily. So this is the first time I fought for anybody/anything. It sure does hurt whenever people give me that doubting look, but I wouldn’t let that stand in my way. In fact, I let nothing stand in my way.

I hope this could be an inspiration to any girls out there who are going through this hard moment.. since your blog have a high traffic.

If you do publish my story,I hope you won’t publish my website too. I do not like getting the attention and many still do not know that my babygirl is made with love out of wedlock. Thank you. ”

:’( Like she said, I really hope her story can help others who are facing the same situation. Even if you are unable to keep the baby, maybe put it up for adoption? There are so many couples who have been trying to conceive for so long but couldn’t.

I don’t know, maybe I am just way too affected by this because I have a baby. I cannot imagine my life without my baby now. Yes, he cries, poops, gets cranky and needs attention and all but at the end of the day, when I look at him sleeping, there is an overwhelming feeling of love for him.

If you are facing the same situation, I hope you will make the right decision for yourself. At the end of the day, it is YOUR baby and your baby is depending on you to live.