After testing a few days ago and finding out that I am pregnant, I made an appointment to see a gynae to check how far along I am already. Unfortunately, no female gynae is availble soon enough, so I decided to see a male gynae just for this initial check up and will make an appointment with a female gynae for the subsequents check ups.

Today at 9.45am, I went for my first ever check up for my No 2. I was trying to stay cool despite being super excited to see the lil bean. Hehe. The check up with the male gynae was disappointing though, he is very insensitive and didnt really explain in detail when he did the scan. he didnt even check for baby’s heartbeat! He was cold and it was obvious that he wanted to get-it-over-and-done-with. The husband was making faces at me cos he too wasn’t happy. Sigh.

As per gynae (who couldnt care less!), I am 7 weeks pregnant and my due date is 101112. Isn’t that a nice date? BUT OF COURSE it won’t be so spot on la. I am sure I will deliver earlier. Tsk.

Honestly though, I wasn’t this excited when I first found out that I am pregnant. I mean, yes I want another baby, I just didn’t expect to get pregnant so soon. I thought that Shan will still need my attention and my intention was to breastfeed him until he turns 2. The husband and I wanted to try end of this year, but this is His gift to us and when I think about all the other women who are trying so hard to get pregnant, I say a little prayer thanking Him for giving me yet another great gift.

However, there are some things that I DO NOT look forward to during and after pregnancy -

1. Weight gain – Cannot deny this fact. I have just lost all the weight and now I have to put on all the weight back. Lol

2. Morning sickness during 1st trimester – Fortunately, I am already reaching my 2nd month and no vomiting so far! Just that stupid weird taste in my mouth (i can go on forever about this)

3. Fatigue – Cannot tahan this one. Walk a little bit, I need to sit. I cannot even put on makeup standing. SO LAZY.

4. Mood swing – Yes I get moody one minute and another minute I can smile like a puppy.

Those isted above are all the things that will happen during the first trimester. 2nd trimester IS THE BEST part of pregnancy. I LOVE 2nd trimester. Nothing to complain about it, so moving on to the 3r and last trimester.

1. Heavy and difficulty walking – I remember when I was pregnant with Shan, I had so much difficulty walking and it was always so painful down there.

2. Nothing fits anymore – Your tummy is so big and round (your ass too) nothing can fit you. Yes, my last trimester I look like a tempayan.

3. The ‘is-it-today-is-it-not’ feeling EVERYDAY – yup, everyday I imagine going into labour and practice my urgent call to the husband (I always assume he will be at work)

…and then comes labour..

1. The ‘how many cm?’ – Gynae checking and putting their hands inside you, down there to check how many cm dilated you are. That is SO NOT FUN.

2. The wait – When will I deliver. When will the pain come? What will be baby look like? Will baby be healthy?

3. The CONTRACTIONS – BIG OUCH this one. I have no words to describe it lah. It’s like someone shove their whole arm inside you and turn your spine like 360 degrees for fun every 2-3 minutes.

4. The pushing – I pushed for 2 hours with Shan. He refused to come out and despite my gynae saying she wanted to use forceps, I kept saying no and kept pushing because I didn’t want to hurt baby or anything (but actually nope, forceps will not hurt baby at all)

..after baby is born…You will so bloody (literally) happy and thankful to Him. REALLY. But after that…

1. The stiches – yup, I can feel my gynae sewing me up like I am a cow with a very bad cut.

2. The soreness – I was so traumatized after the labour. The pain I felt below at the v-jay-jay was so so painful that when I sleep, I get nightmares that I am still in labour. It was horrible

3. The recovery – this is the part that I am really not looking forward to. I felt helpless because I was in pain and couldn’t move much. I couldn’t attend to Shan that much and it made me feel so bad.

4. Hair Loss – yes I was bald at the sides after about 4 months of giving birth and hair only grew back when Shan was 9 months old!

That’s it! I just feel I should write all these down as memory. I am currently reading all my previous entries during my pregnancy with Shan and truthfully, despite all that I went through it is definitely worth it. Shan is the best thing that has ever happened to me and no amount of pain will stop me from having another baby of my own. A few months of pain is nothing compared to the laughter I get every single day when I see my baby.

May this journey be a smooth one for me, Inshaallah.